Dear friend,
Come winter, the north is flooded with darkness. Many become gloomy and depressed, longing for the sun. I have often used this time of the year to excuse any sadness and lack of energy, but it’s an attitude that does not feel genuine. The truth is, I love the winter’s darkness passionately. I love the stars and pale blue moon. Witnessing the long, lazy sunrises and the blanket of the night drawing over the world far too soon spells gentleness to me. That’s the time when I love lighting candles and holding a warm cup of tea in my cold hands. Most of all, I love the quiet bestowed upon the world come darkness. And when silver jewels start to fall from the sky and decorate everything with delicate frozen lace, that’s when I am completely overwhelmed by this magical fairytale.
For me, winter is best experienced away from concrete. In fact, I experience everything more richly like that – I belong in the forest! I have never thrived in cities, yet I see many souls who do. Where do you belong, my friend? Have you had a gentle chance to figure that out?
For a long time, before I noticed all my masks, I hurried, hid and lived in fear. I contorted to fit foreign wills and ill-interpreted perceptions. Listening to myself felt like a selfish and reckless transgression of my predefined role in this world. I avoided anger at all costs, building a barrier to reach my intuition. Yet my heart sings loudly every time the seasons turn, and I was always drawn to the magic of the forest…
Despite popular belief, it is incredibly difficult to not be yourself. It wore me off and burned me out. No matter how hard I tried, living an inauthentic life is a wretched, Sisyphean task. And it is a task I can proudly say I failed to accomplish. I could no longer resist the waves of life, so I opened up my heart and moved toward what feels home.
This is how I learned that I belong in a forest. When I hug a tree, I feel as if my body fills with energy and joy of life. I sleep so deeply when the only sounds I can hear are the songs of the birds and the whispers of the trees as the wind caresses them. And the closer I get to the earth, the happier I feel.
The forest showed me that I truly am a fairy. I cannot help but spread fairy dust, which makes my forest happy. Sometimes the trees really crave affection, so I lean my ear on their bark and I hug them tight enough to let the entire forest feel the warmth of my embrace. That’s often when the squirrels come to teach me how to sway my body and when the deer invite me to jump without fear. Sometimes I can feel the wings on my back, lifting me up to dance with the wind. And I even dare sing, but only when I am alone, because I am still unlearning the ways of meaningless value, the taste of endless gray, and the deceitful reality of shoulds.
I think the biggest privilege one could wish for is the chance to be true to ones self, go where one belongs, and live peacefully. My friend, how are you experiencing this adventure called life? What brings you joy and feels truly authentic? For some, it looks like a life of travels, while for others, it may be the quiet surrender to books every evening. It may seem painful to even think about this, considering all the tragedies and imagined scarcity we tend to focus on. But for just one moment, a silly break for fun, could you imagine how it feels to truly belong? I invite you to a game where you close your eyes, gift yourself the spectacle of your imagination and let your own inner magic entertain you. Where does that take you?
Your curious friend from the forest,
Laura